I am sure that I will be one for the rest of my years. Never have I been so rational; never have I been more awake; never have I allowed life to trouble me so much. However, that’s the beauty of it. I can accept reality as is. I don’t have to convince myself that there is some god operating in my favor. I don’t have to be naive enough to say that he/she/it cares for my issues whilst allowing children to die of cancers and starvation; whilst allowing them to be abused by their parents and trafficked for sex. I cannot believe in a being that would look upon such suffering with indifference; that will deem itself omnipotent whilst choosing to do nothing to prevent this kind of suffering; that will call itself all loving whilst choosing to allow children to be subject to hateful atrocities like the aforementioned; that will call itself all knowing whilst forgoing the fact that these events were over the horizon — who would see these events beforehand and still allow them to come to pass. Then some would blame this on a great evil (i.e. Satan). Being all knowing, I wouldn’t create a being who ends up causing this much suffering. Being all powerful, I would have destroyed such a being the moment it began to think in this manner. Being all loving, I wouldn’t create such hatred. Being perfect I would feel no need to create. The notion of a god is an impossibility and I’m glad to have realized this.