I was raised, perhaps unintentionally, with the belief that everyone was Christian except for “bad people.” Unbelievers were presented to me as fools worthy only of ridicule. I took it as a given that most people were christian.

Regardless, I was uncomfortable in church. Praying felt distinctly like talking to myself. Not for lack of effort; I prayed earnestly, every night, for most of my childhood. I just never felt like it did anything. I was desperate to be a “Good Christian,” and it tormented me. I just never sensed God the way other people seemed to. But I did manage to believe just enough to be terrified of Hell.

During grade school, I had stomach problems. I was a waif of a child because I could barely eat a whole meal without getting an awful stomach ache. Doctors shrugged and told my parents I must have been imagining things. It tormented me. I prayed for God to cure me, and as you can imagine, nothing happened.

I was told not to “test God.” I was told not to assume that all my prayers would be granted, because “God has a plan.” I realized that the two concepts didn’t even work together— why pray, if God has a plan and won’t change it for you?

I started finding other logical and moral inconsistencies and abominations (like how screwed up the concept of “original sin” is) and my faith collapsed on itself like building blocks. I could go on and on about all the reasons I ditched Christianity, but honestly, we’ve all heard enough.

I tried other religions and found it preposterous to just pick one, because there are so many. From this new perspective, I realized there was no logical way to just pick a religion. I found the errors of Pascal’s Wager.

I am an atheist because there is no compelling evidence for any gods. I do not see any more reason to believe in gods than I do to believe in unicorns, faeries, or Santa. My desperate efforts to find a god are what led me to this point. I have asked believers to prove their claims, and they’ve come up with nothing convincing. I can’t force myself to believe in something that can’t be proven— that’s not how it works. I didn’t choose atheism. I defaulted to it when nothing else made sense.

submitted by (doodlemancy)